Here I Am

Here I am again.
Just as I promised.
I have come to tell you I am sorry.

Yet, you will not let me speak.
I cried on the long drive here.
I thought it would be best.

Yet, again here I stand crying.
You must think me only a child.
Just as much as the day I broke your heart.

It is nice today.
The smell of the morning dew on the grass.
The slight warmth of the sun as it rises.

I suppose I could stay longer.
You could watch me cry.
Or I could just drive off leaving you again!

I guess I have said enough.
I have wiped the dirt off the stone.
I will leave the rose across your name.

I will cry as I leave.
I will cry all the way back home.
I guess I was never meant to say “Sorry.”

So I will go now.
I will go home.
I will never forget you.
But I will go home.
I will see you next year.

 

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The Lingering Line

It is not chalk nor is it pen.
Yet it drew the line.
Clear it was put down on the ground.
There it was for all to see.

No signs needed.
No notice to pass out.
No guard posted.
No message on the radio.

You did not draw this line.
You did not send out a notice.
You did not stop the traffic there.
You did not ask for a guard to stop people.

For all these things you are not guilty.
For all these things you have no part of.
For inside this line so bold to see.
The only one guilty of this line was me.

Many years have passed since then.
Much pain was cause by that line.
You are gone and I but a lonely soul.
Unable to tell you I am sorry.

I pass by that line and see it lingering.
My name hanging there to haunt me.
Your tears still staining the ground.
I bow my head but nothing changes.

It is not chalk nor is it pen.
Yet it drew the line.
Clear it was put down on the ground.
There it was for all to see.

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Drawing: James Earl Wells, Copyright 2012

I Would

I would ask you to call.
But it is to late now.
I would like to see you.
But I walked away.

I would love you again.
But I hear the fault was mine.
I would always be there for you.
But I broke your heart.

I would say I’m sorry.
But you would never hear it.
I would walk until I found you.
But you would move before I got there.

I would marry you.
But I made my feelings known.
I would kiss you everyday.
But you won’t let me get close.

I would do all these things.
But I was the one who ended it.
I would do more for you than ever.
But I broke your heart and you kept mine.

I would, if only.
I would, if I.
I would, how can I.
I would, but you are gone.
I would, I am alone.
I would, I would, I.

Am
Sorry.

I am alone.
I am.
I

 

Nothing Mattered

It was not long ago.
We use to play in the apple grove.
We ran and laughed.
We did not have a care in the world.

So many years have gone since then.
Our running days behind us.
Some days our laughs turn to tears.
And the world surrounds us with fear.

I long for the day to see you there again.
A smile on your face.
Your laughter in my ears.
You gentle touch that took me there.

Looking into your eyes.
I knew that all things are good.
Nothing else mattered.
You were my shining star.

I long to feel you close to me.
To touch me so gentle and kind.
To smell you hair that makes me think of spring.
To lay with you in the cool soft grass.

It was long ago when I loved you.
It was long ago when you loved me.
It was long ago when life was just our world.
It was long ago when nothing really mattered.

But it was just yesterday when I knew you mattered.
It was just yesterday when I found you were gone.
It was just yesterday when I cried.
It was just yesterday when it seemed by life ended.

It was long ago when you loved me.
And it was long ago when I loved you.
It was long ago when should have said I am sorry.
It was long ago and it was very far away.

I will miss you.
I will hold you in my heart.
Your memories will be ever on my mind.
And long ago was just like yesterday.

Now You Are Gone

I remember when we first met.
Your hair long and curly around your neck.
Your eyes bright as the sun of day.

I see your smile.
I feel your warmth.
I see your eyes.
I smell your hair.

I enjoyed you being there.
We drove around in a little blue bug.
Dances, Movies or just driving we did not care.

I grew to love you.
And I love you true.
I broke your heart.
I was foolish and it was not right.

Today the angels in heaven bath you.
They take that wonderful girl I knew so long ago.
They work fitting you for you day at the pearly gates.

It was only yesterday when I kissed your lips.
It was just a moment ago that we held hands.
I can still feel my stomach jumping around.

Everyday was a great day when I got to see you.
Everyday was a great day because you were in that day.
I thought it would last thousands of years.

Yet, that day is gone and now you are a memory.
Of a wonderful time in life, I will never forget.
You loved me more than I could ever want

You gave more of yourself than I gave you.
I am sorry for hurting you because I loved you so.
For years I shed tears for the loss of you.

Now you are gone and I will never get to tell you.
How much I longed for you back.
How long I searched.
How much I wanted to know.
Do you still have that peace symbol that use you hang around your neck?

Many will miss seeing you.
But your memories are with us.
I loved you my dear.
I loved you for years.

I hope you visit once in a while.
So I will know that we are okay.
Tell me in your way that you have forgiven me.
And will you let me see that smile one more day?

The angels have a new angel to train.
But I do not think they have much to do.
Since you have always been an angel to me.

I remember when we first met.
Your hair long and curly around your neck.
Your eyes bright as the sun of day.

I see your smile.
I feel your warmth.
I see your eyes.
I smell your hair.

So I guess this is goodbye.
Not what I wanted it to be.
But that was not left up to me.

I Love You.
I always will.

 

In memory of
Cnythia (Cindy) Galye (Moffatt) Gilliam

October 7, 1954 – April 17, 2013

My first love.
Rest In Peace Cindy.