Made Of Stone

Here I knell, head in hands.
Tears running down my burning cheeks.
Fearing the future, Hating the past.
Alone homeless my heart broken.

A lifetime we laughed and loved.
A world without hate, we had each other.
Each day we became closer.
Each year we became better lovers.

Today there is only silence.
Today my heart is scattered in the wind.
Today my dreams have been lost forever.
Today time has ceased.

The cold stone standing in the garden.
The words carved are only a name and dates.
They give nothing to the person who lies here.
The joy that she once brought, the love she gave to others.

In one moment she was there smiling.
The next it was gone as if erased from piece of paper.
As if she never existed, if only in a dream.
Yet the pain is real and memory vivid.

Here I knell head in hands.
The tears running down my burning cheeks.
Fearing the future, hating the past.
Alone, homeless, broken, and lost.





Cross Design: James Earl Wells Copyright 2009



For The Sake Of My Suffering

As I slowing sit up against the the tree.
I see the corn fields and hear the birds.
And feel the warm breeze on my face.

I have been here before.
A very long time ago.
It was different then.

Yet I don’t what that could be.
I can’t remember when I was here.
But the feeling still runs up my spine.

I lean my head against the tree.
And sleep overtakes my body.
The dreams take over where my thoughts stopped.

Yet they never give me exactly the answers.
They fly me around this field.
I look at the top of the tree.

I come down and stand in the field of corn.
Seeking answers for questions that I cannot ask.
Hours go by it seems and my eyes open.

The sun is in the west and I have a pain in my back.
As I slowly raise up I notice something about the tree.
Letters that seem to have been carved many years ago.

I can see the letters C and M and a plus sign and that is it.
I have no clue what they mean but it feels like they are apart this place.
I turned and I stood before a gate.

I opened it and walked through the rows of headstones.
None of them were people that I knew.
So why would I be here?

I fell to my knees and began to cry.
This feeling overcame me and I did not understand it.
Nor did I understand why I was so sad.

I turn and again I was back at the tree.
This time the corn was gone.
And there was sadness in the air.

OH, how I cried. I begged for it to leave.
I cried out for it to stop. I ask it why it wanted me.
Silence was the only answer in the air.

I woke up this morning and sat up on the side of the bed.
I realized I had not moved from this place for three days.
And I realized that all that I experienced. All I felt. All I seen.

All the suffering and sadness was because you were gone.
Not gone as moved away or took a trip.
But that you were dead.

Alone, I felt alone in the moment.
Lost, because I would never see you again.
Angry, for I would never be able to ask you to forgive me.

Forgive me.
All this pain, all this suffering, all this hurt.
Just because I will never be able to ask you to forgive me.

Just to forgive me.

Who Am I Now

A glimpse of the past.
A tear of regret.
A longing for yesterday.
A look at today.

A love lost then.
A heart broke.
A time far away.
A look at today.

A walk down the road.
A skip of a rock on the lake.
A sun set her head on my shoulder.
A look at today.

A trip down a one lane road.
A rusty one lane bridge.
A laughter still echoing through hills.
A look at today.

A past and a present.
A present with a past.
A love lost with a heart broken.
And a look at today.

The present cannot change the past.
The present will always have the past.
The heart will always be broken.
And the love will always be lost.

And looking at today,
Will only give you peace.
Because there may be a tomorrow.
And tomorrow the past will be a little
Not part of the look of today.

A past.
A regret.
A yesterday.
A today.

Lost But Not Found

It seems I have lost something.
It appears my train.
That thought process that inspires me.
The one that keeps me on track.

I had it that last time I looked.
Yet, I am not sure where it was.
How do you gather thoughts of inspiration?
Or do you just wait for them to come?

I seems to be moving away.
That train of inspiration.
I run to catch it but it just speeds up.
The faster I run the faster it goes.

My words are going away.
My thoughts have spilled onto the streets.
My shovel has a hole in it.
And gathering the few that are left are slipping away.

I should wait and see.
Maybe they will come back to me.
Finding that they miss floating around in my brain.
And once again life will be in balance at least in my minds eye.

LOST: One Heart

Lost, One Heart,
If found please return to owner.
You will know him by his,
Sad look,
Tear stain face,
Ragged clothes,
Hopeless cries,
Long hair and beard,
Inability to walk,
Always looks down.

This Heart has been missing for forty years.
It is important that it be returned.
This man who suffers from a broken lost heart.
He is about to die but is unable to without his heart.

Lost: One Heart
If found, please return to owner.

Will You

Will you always love me?
Will you always forgive me?
Will you overlook my faults?
Will you always hold my hand?

Will you always laugh at my jokes?
Will you let me kiss you in public?
Will you never leave?
Will you still lay with me at night?

Will you find me when I am lost?
Will you know that I love you?
Will you know that I need you?
Will you know that I want you?

Will we grow old together?
Will we never get bored?
Will we always have dreams?
Will we hold our family close?

Will we be strong even in the darkest hour?
Will we support each other when all seems lost?
Will you be there when I am not?
Will you see me when I am gone?

Will you?

Last Words

Something told me not to come.
Someone gave me a note from the beyond.
I do not understand why.
And when I read it, I began to cry.

The signature was plane to see.
It was a note to set me free.
I never wanted to see this day.
And I never thought I would have nothing to say.

Like the sun setting in the west.
I was sure I gave it my very best.
Somehow I knew how you would feel.
But never guessed you would wait till now.

As they lowered you into the ground.
I became lost again and would never be found.
So why did you pick this way to leave?
When I was waiting to see you and make you believe.

You are gone and I am here.
I am here living in fear.
They day never came for me to say my last words.
The words I am sorry, for what I had done.

So now that you are there and I am here.
Please know I will always think of you dear.
The love in my heart will never part.
And you will still own the largest part.

Goodnight my dear sleep tight.
I will see you sometime after midnight.