Discovery

It is not that you left me.
Because you were always there.
It is not because you stopped loving me.
Because you never said you did not care.

It is not because we were mad at each other.
Because we never had a fight.
It is not because you found another.
Because you were never looking.

It was because I did not pay attention.
To the look in your eyes.
It was because I did not understand why.
You would show up miles from home.

It was because I did not know I was stupid.
And let you slip though my fingers.
It was because I did hurt your feelings.
Because I did not see the love in your eyes.

It was because I was so young and so full of myself.
That I watched you go away.
It was because I seen you with another Man.
That later I would understand.

It was something I cannot fix, nor mend.
A broken heart I know I caused.
For I realize the hurt I caused.
Because now the pain I must live.

I do not expect you to forgive me.
I do not expect you to care.
I understand why you won’t take my calls.
But I do not understand why you never married.

I blame only me and know the truth I will tell.
For all that I have done to you I am living in that hell.
It is all over. The days have counted down.
And here we are so far apart.

Broken hearts can never mend.
I could if I had the power.
I know who you were then.
I discovered you in my heart.

And you will never go away.

 

1981

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I Am

I am not a robot following commands.
I am a person of strong convictions.
I am not a violent person.
I believe peace can be achieved.

I am not a greedy person.
I believe that wealth breeds corruption.
I am not a war monger.
I believe we can work thing out.

I am not blameless.
I have my faults.
I am not free to insults.
I will walk away.

I am not free of hate.
I believe I can free myself of hate.
I am not heartless.
I can love all.

I am not the person you think I am.
I am and always have been strong in faith.
I am not a doubter.
I am a spreader of Good News.

I am not a monster to be afraid of.
I would not hurt a fly.
I am not a mold of society.
I am me and I walk my own road.

I do not believe in fairy tales.
I believe in my heart.
I do not keep secrets.
I am an open book.

I am not God.
I would not pretend to be.
I am not an Angel.
That would be pretending to be God.

I am always here.
I am always caring.
I am always loving.
I am always there for you.
I am the one who will hold you while you cry.
I am the who will listen.
I am the person that smiles at you each day.
I am all of this and more.

I am not.
Yet I am.
That was yesterday.
And this is today.
I am not yesterday.
I am now.

I am not.
Yet I am.

I am.
Are you?