I woke this morning, wondering where I am,
I was far away and it wasn’t part of my plan.
The dusty smell and sound of rain on the roof,
Giving me the feeling of something quit wrong.
As I rise I noticed the boots next to my bed.
And a Green Uniform hanging on the wall.
The red cross could be seen through the roof.
It was then I knew that home was far away.
I heard the chopping of large blades turning around.
The heavy load makes a scary noise.
The call of all available personnel to report to duty
clearly heard above all other noise.
No, dreaming, only reality.
There I was running buttoning my shirt.
Holding on to the bag with the red cross.
Stepping into the Helicopter as the skids came off the ground.
What would I see today, would it be my last?
Will I get home standing up or laying down?
Questions with no answers.
Only the thought of the mission.
Evacuate all injured personnel.
So as you go about your day.
You put it all behind you.
So they say.
Yes, I woke up this morning.
With visions of great conflict.
Not knowing what the day would bring.
Only that when the day is over.
The horror was over.
Locked into my mind was you.
Locked into this dream was home.
Locked up was the pain of war.
Locked was the many who died.
And the pain of those who lived.
I can not say if saved anyone.
Nor can I say that I did not kill someone.
I only hope that the day I meet my maker,
He will understand.
I have no second chance.
I will have to live with this.
The darkness of night,
The rain and the flight.
The call of a man in pain.
Where do I put these thoughts?
Will they haunt me?
Will I always have to look over my shoulder?
To see if there is someone there?
Will what I did be marked down in History.
Or lost in the pages of time.
No longer do I wake with these thoughts on my mind.
No longer do I feel the pain.
At least that is what I tell myself ,
As each day I hear or see something that takes me back.
Back to a time of Darkness.
Yes, I was a Combat Medic.
I did not fight as most.
I fought to save not to kill.
For that I am given nightmares.
Night mares of an unjust war.
I do still think of you.
I still know where you are.
I still wonder.
Will the day ever come?
The day I hold you.
And all the pain will go away.
I woke up this morning.
The smell of dust and rain.
Shaking as I dress.
Running into hell.
Never knowing how it will end.
Today I woke up still in love with you.
Today I watched lives pass from living to dead.
Today I heard screams of pain and the ones wishing to die.
Today I became a Man.
So they say.
If I am measured by this one act.
Then I am found wanting.
When I woke up today.