I truly believe I have started to repeat earlier thoughts. I suppose you could count this up to obsession with the feelings of forgiving and still having feelings for someone.
While I find this interesting since I did not realize how obsessed I was with that subject. I now realize that I have a small problem with this. Maybe it is not a problem but an undone piece of history that has not had closure.
Many people might call me childish or some other name for a person who may be a little self centered. Not sure about that one though. Nothing revolves around me. At least I do not think it does. I am just happy to exist and have a some what normal life.
Many days though these thoughts I have written come to mind and I have not been able to get them out of my mind so they spill over to these pages of thoughts. Thoughts, now that is an interesting concept! What are thoughts and are they different than feelings? Jury is out on that one too.
I sleep, I dream, I wake up, I scoot around the apartment and dabble with this and that until it is time to sleep again. So a mind that is not occupied with a particular task tends to wake up in the middle of feelings and thoughts of days gone by. What did we miss along the way? How did we let that one get by us? If we could would we change it? If we change it what would we change it to? Many thoughts that need to go back in the drawers and filed under “Closed Due To Lack Of Proof.” Then maybe other thoughts and feelings can be penned in this journal of sorts. I do think that Blogs become a journal of sorts and some use it to throw out to all of us to read not realizing that they are telling us about themselves.
In the middle of the stream there was a sort of island in the Creek not far from the house I lived in. The house was in an area they called Corn land. Years before my birth there was a town there called Athol. There is nothing left there for anyone to see that even represents that there was a town there at one time. It is in the middle of nowhere and has no real meaning to this story. But I have sat on the island many days and thought about life, God, Love and other things that entertained me.
I do not think that during any of those days did I ever come up any original ideas or thoughts that would bring anything together here or anywhere else. But I know that I did meditate there. It was peaceful and no one would every stop your thought process because most people did not know it was there.
During that time I left my footprints all up and down that creek. Sometimes I would lean up against a tree and take a nap or just see how long it took for an animal to appear. Such beauty when you have nothing but trees all around you and a nice creek with water running by you. A great place to get away and be by yourself.
So let’s say that we will try not get back on that other subject for awhile so we don’t seem so tied up in the past of feelings and other already talked about thoughts. It may bring the rest of the world in to sight and try to take the life journey down the original path where it started.
It is just a thought. Just a thought.