Faith Journey


It is a terrible feeling to be lost and not understand who you are. It is a lonely place trying to find out just what things are about. What you need and what you will get. How good is this and how bad is that. You have a hard time talking to anyone about it. They think you’ve lost your mind and what ever they believe they want you to learn and turn to.
I am really not sure when clarity came to me. But somewhere along this every spinning planet the answer was there. The brass ring. I could see the ring but it would never get close enough for me to grasp it and take it for myself.
It was like being in a different country without a map. The roads are there but you have no idea which one will take you where you need to go and if it does will you like where you end up? So many if’s and not enough answers. Questions that I wanted answers to. Yet, no one can answer them all.
Trading dreams for reality is a hard row to hoe. Dreams are aspiration for the future. Reality is a nasty kick in the backside. It hurts you and makes you angry. You become a very hateful person and you do not care who it hurts and without thinking you do just that, you hurt someone. You hurt the one who you love or the one who loves you.
Reality is sometimes clouded with false hope and with that false hope you make wrong decisions. Yet you still follow that path thinking that at the end of the road there are no forks in the road but the end where everything comes into focus and you find peace at long last.
The terrible thing about reality is the knowledge that you can not get back the things you do or say. Once they are out there you have to live with them for the rest of your life. And no one can change that because it is you who have opened that can of worms.
You busy yourself with all the books you have been told about and in each one you find an answer to some of the questions but never answers to all. You are discouraged and you are left with a empty feeling as if someone had pulled the spirit right out of you.
So you dig deeper in the many religions looking for that peace. You meditate, chant, pray and burn incense hoping that the smoke takes your prayers up with them as they slowing rise up. But to whom they land on it still a cloudy place in your mind.
And here you are looking at yourself in the mirror and wondering where you should turn. The great meditation you have been taught by the Yogi seems to clam you for a little while but your soul still needs more. It need something or someone to touch it and hold it still. You find all the things you have reached out to were only good for that moment and then they vanished as quickly as they came to you.
Now you reach beyond the Church’s, Temples, Halls, and other meeting places where people talk about the new age religion.
This time you will discover a cover up in Christianity. A scroll lost in time. The more you dig you find what you have been listening to comes from another book other than the Bible. Now your search comes to a point where you have to take notes and look at something that you can hardly believe has been there for years.
And so a new part of Christianity comes to light and your world becomes shattered as you see many missing stories and scripture that never knew was out there.
The Lost Books and Forgotten Scripture that would change your thoughts again but will this answer anything for you.
Only time will tell……..

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