Before the Dawn

Amazing how the mind works. Even when the sky starts to take the shape of dawn you seem to be taken back again to a time that seems much simpler than it is today.

The lake has a slight breeze blowing across the water making it ripple against the shore. This makes the once quiet night slightly awaking to the ear. The frogs sing and the birds start the daily chirping hunting for food. The barn swallows skim across the water catching the bugs flying close to the water and depriving the fish of a good meal for the day.

As you watch this wonderful performance of nature your mind still back to that night that time that feeling that you can not get rid of. You’re stomach seems to do flip flops and the the emotions come back. You sit there on your rock. Crying like a baby. The cry that is non-stopping and each second it is worse and you feel like your body is going to go into spams because of the crying and hurt you feel.

What is there to do when the day is dawning and the night has disappeared with the touch of the sun not yet above the horizon. What can one person do that could change or take the hurt and the feeling of being alone? Does this have to last forever? Why do other not understand you? And why should they?

So you think that they should understand and that they should because they are you’re friends and they know what you are going through because they seen you and lived in the same time that you did all these deeds. They were there they were with you. Yet, they can not understand or try to understand why you hurt and why you question you’re life and your decisions.

Even as the darkness goes slowly down in defeat of the sun you think back to that night. You see everything as if it happened only yesterday. You see it. You feel it and yet you are not there. It is gone. It is the history of two people. The two people that parted and lost each other and when they parted nothing would bring them back together no matter how hard you try.

You look and search and dig for the one. The one that got away. The one that no one else can take the place of. And no one, yes, no one will try to understand why it hurts you so bad and that person that you knew back then seems distant and far removed from a friendship that became more, will not acknowledge you for what it was except heart break.

You have planed for years on what you would say and how you would say it so that you could have that person back into you’re life. A life that so long ago was wonderful and heart stopping relationship that you messed up one dark and warm night almost in the spot you are sitting.

And what happens now? What things can be done? Is it really to late and do you really want that time back. Will it really solve anything? Maybe? No? Yes? How do you do it? Do you do it the way you have dreamed all those years? And what if it backfires? Will it prove anything? Will you end up happy with the outcome even if it is negative?

Yes, life is a funny path we take our journey on. We touch other people and they touch us. We hope and think we are better people because of the ones that have been in your life and touched you. Life goes on there is no stopping it. No matter hard you may try. That day is gone. Forever. As the old song goes, “we will never pass this way again.” How true and how hurtful that can be. Yet  in our mind of minds we relive the mistakes we make and make ourselves miserable by hashing over the past hoping that by doing this we can change and right the wrong and be happy again.

And then Dawn comes…………


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